Talk About Toothsome!

The dentist's office takes some pretty bad knocks. After all, it is that creepy, antiseptic cell where, facing a gleaming array of pointy appliances, you're forced to endure procedures that may be better suited to the extraction of national security information. Ah, but that daunting recliner next to the small, bubbling sink also puts you front row-center for one of life's great underrated pleasures--the species known as the dental assistant.

She is a vision in white, and every bit the woman: often alluring, frequently intrusive, always intense. Her job is to probe, pinch and tweak--yet what is it about her that can turn a potentially punishing 45 minutes into something more like an afternoon at a spa? Maybe it's the way she presses up against you, her fingers gently trailing over your lips, then slipping into your mouth. Maybe it's the way she sees through you, even as she's X-raying your bicuspids. Maybe it's simply the way she softly commands you to "open."

And, of course, she does it all within kissing range.

So put on your bib, gargle and relax. This won't hurt a bit.